A VILLAGE MOTHER

Village mothers varied in size, shape, attitude, motherliness, family promotion and agressiveness. The general run of the mill mother was a homebody. She looked after the needs of the family from the territory of ...her domain.

The mother of the early part of this century, and dating back to the days of settlers, was the controlling factor of the family. Her whole day was taken up with activities related to the family. From early morning to the end of day a mother's daily duties were based on the things that must be done, family necessities, a few bits to please the family, solace for the wounded child, concern for each member of the family and the strength to surmount the worst of family calamities.

Time off was rarely accorded to a village mother. If the family was privileged to go on a vacation, it was mother who made the arrangements; mother who packed the necessities and mother who was always present to see her family enjoyed themselves. Father and the children came first; the needs of the family had to be uppermost; she delighted in telling the accomplishments of her family, especially if it was a grandchild who was just a little superior to their peers .

Mother herded the family to church on Sundays, sometimes it was an opportunity to show her handywork in the clothes of the children and always to let others see her well mannered, clean faced family. The grubbiest child could be excused for six days a week but each urchin had to be clean and presentable when they came to the House of Worship on Sunday.

Each mother of the village tried to excel. The patches on the knees and seat of a boy' s pants showed the careful needlework of his mother. No matter how poor, the family, mothers found time to darn their children's socks, patch their overalls and send them to school as neat as possible; some mothers must have wondered if the child returning from school was the one she had checked for clean hands and face and clothes, without holes in the knees or elbows when they left for school in the morning.

Home and school organizations had not come to the village; rarely a mother came to the school and most teachers would have resented a mother questioning the progress of her progeny. The need for mother volunteers in the classroom would not become necessary for several decades. The only mothers that made space in their busy day for a short period of instruction, on occasion, was one or two members of the - W.C.T.U. Mrs. McPhail or Mrs. Thomas would appear at the school several times a year and explain to the student body that smoking would stunt your growth and alcohol caused imbibers to become the dregs of society. The one occasion mothers and teachers conversed was the annual invitation for the teacher to dine with the family. Mother arranged this event to show the teacher what a nice home the student came from and how well the children were provided for. The mock duck served the evening the teacher dined with the family was also a special treat for the children.

Several times a year mothers had the opportunity of demonstrating their culinary expertise; church suppers, funerals, weddings and special gatherings. Food for any village event was prepared by the ladies of the community; no bride would have had a proper wedding if all the neighbours, relatives and friends had not contributed some special pastry, cake or delicacy. A funeral was a time for the bereaved family to be deluged with food for several meals, for themselves and relatives, for one or two days before the funeral and in some cases either the wake or Scottish family gathering. Everyone in the village knew who baked the best chocolate cake, the pumpkin pie with the most whipped cream topping or the apple pie liberally spiced with nutmeg and cinnamon and a flaky, pastry crust. Some mother's children only tasted their parents special culinary offering at a church supper or village gathering.

A village mother's vocabulary could be short and to the point when dealing with her siblings, one word said with several degrees of emphasis could bring most situations under control. Mothers had many ways of saying "NO", The tone of voice, hand gestures or the accompanying expressions relayed to the youngster just how emphatic a mother intended them to understand "NO".

A mild "NO" could be taken for a period of delay. A "NO,NO,NO" was instant halt to the activity, "NO you don't, NO you can't, I mean NO, I said NO, for the last time, I won't say NO again, and if I say NO again, you'll be sorry, with the proper voice modulation, always told the offending offspring it was time to vacate and follow some other pursuit.

Village mothers knew little of child psychology. Dr. Spock hadn't published his directory of child upbringing and the day of discussing a child's behaviour with the child was decades away. Mothers knew that the child who was reluctant to accept her proper dictates could easily have the idea firmly implanted on the young mind with a swat on the posterior to speed the message on its way.

Mothers of the period also had a few admonishments for their children, like "Don't come running to me when you fallout of that tree and break both your legs". "You had better soon wash behind your ears before the grass grows in the dirt". "Make sure you have clean socks and underwear on before you go out, you never know what might happen to you." Or on a hot day in July, "Don't frown, your face will freeze that way".

Village children never had to be concerned about mother's boyfriend, when the divorce would be final, and what to do after school until mother got home from the office. Mothers were always in the home; they would want to know every detail of what happened at school when you got home. A mother made her own macaroni and cheese; Mr. Kraft hadn't hit the market with his packaged pasta; and mother didn't have to compete with Mr. Christie to fill the cookie jar. Her brand of cookies was always in demand. The soup of the day was not from a can; it was real home grown vegetables, a meaty beef bone and a pinch of this, and a pinch of that, resulting in a bowl of soup with some body to it.

Many of today's professionals can look back at their days at home with mother when she saved little amounts of money, telling her children someday it would come in handy; and she set the lifetime pattern for frugality; thrift was part of every child's education at home and as the years went by and the dollars and pennies accumulated, there came the time when mother's nest egg sent the family to high school and in some cases on to university.

Mothers never retired; they could be seen in the golden years still helping at the church supper, making her daily trip for the mail, fussing about the house and garden and preparing meals for the holiday when the family would be coming home. Mother remained the mother of the family until God decided her chores on earth had come to an end. I am sure some mothers are still making soup for the angels and gathering in heaven for the "Ladies Aid Meeting"; she never did finish telling the other ladies about her grandchildren when she was on earth.
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